A WINE LOVER'S DIARY, part 1096: a B-Team report SUNDAY - Woke up this morning with a shattering headache, one I had not experienced since my college days. What was it? Why was it? Seemed like a hangover to me, although I seldom overindulge with alcohol. And then it hit me. A group of us were watching the DVD of "Sideways" and we all went for a bunch of garbage bowls. It was a massive chugalug of the spittoons after a raucous evening of taste and spit. I seem to recall that I took no notes of the aromas and textures of the spittoon, but a card in my pocket said that I had won the speed and quantity contest. Thank god we didn't sample any merlots last time or I'd be SOL!!! The afternoon was spent prioritizing my wine and food activities for the week. As a B-team wine writer, I don't get to do all the things that Tony Aspler does (he's part of the A-team). At least I don't have a dog to walk. I have enough problems with my bad/sad/cad/dad/mad/lad/fad/had/pad/tad/wad dog of a wine, Pinot More... Let me see: this week there are a couple of trade shows (including one from a B-team wine region, in desperate need of any kind of exposure), a lunch with a producer; a lunch with a trade commission wine guy; a dinner theatre which needs some publicity (we usually call it "ptomaine theatre"), plus the consultations/advisements on wine lists, wine clubs, etc. etc. Alas, my radio spot was cancelled last week when somebody asked which wine went with pussy, and - without missing a beat -- I gave him a choice of sparkling apricot or sweet riesling. The station was not amused; the next wine writer will get a five second delay. It is a jungle out there. MONDAY - Up at 5 AM to begin writing on the inside of my eyelids...I've got a few story ideas that are best processed in bed. By 7 AM I have it all laid out, and I can begin the day. I have a rowing machine, which I use when the inclement weather looks too forbidding for my 10 KM run. Usually when I row I watch a DVD of a silent or a foreign film: no noise, no interruptions, and plenty of reading. Sometimes, for an English language film, I'll turn on the subtitles. This works wonders for many BritComs where I can't quite catch the accent in time to process it - before the next joke happens. Today I feast on the food scene in "Tom Jones"...Makes me hungry just writing about it. I get a phone call from the ICE (Italy) reminding me of today's technical wine seminar, and would I please be on time? Of course, I lie. These things never start on time. I'm off this morning to the Italian wine trade show, which usually happens at the Carlu. After we're searched at the door, we go to pick up the catalogue. The show is supposed to be in Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto. Consequently, there are many wines NOT available for tasting in Toronto: I'd have to go to Montreal or Vancouver for those. But they are all listed in the catalogue. The Italians go out of their way to list all the companies, the agents, addresses galore, maps, vintage notes, technical notes, names and vintages of all the wines, grape varieties employed and their percentages. Wines are starred and footnoted to indicate whether they are in Vancouver, Montreal or Toronto. Unfortunately, with all this data, each catalogue weighs 6 kilos. I spend some time crossing off those wines not in Toronto (only to find out later that some of them actually are here!). The technical tasting involves a range of presentations from producers; it is called for 10:30AM but actually starts at 11. I get there at 10:45 for a good seat, talk to B-team colleagues, start marking up my catalogue. Lunch is a buffet, the usual standup buffet. I always wear comfortable shoes (but see my notes for Friday). The banquet table fits my seafood diet: I see food, I eat it. I walk around trying to taste some 220 wines, realizing that I cannot do it. The ones I do taste don't seem to be currently available, the agent doesn't know when they will be available, nor does he know the price or terms. Typical of most trade shows, no matter how much the catalogue weighs or how it is laid out. I move on through the jungle. TUESDAY – This morning I get down to writing. Then there is a "lunch" meeting with a producer at the LCBO's Scrivener Square Private Tasting Room. The wine press is a mixture of A- and B-team players. Today we have a winemaker speaking about his ten wines. Three of the wines are in the General List, another two are in the Vintages system, one is here on consignment, another is being proposed for the General List (this one seems to have the most publicity material in front of it), one more is coming to Vintages, one is a definite Private Order (but could we please say something about it, to encourage sales?), and the last one is a new vintage (or it could be a barrel sample). This is the typical lineup. The producer rep is accompanied by four agent reps, sometimes five. And sometimes the reps outnumber the writers. I've also been to several tastings and dinners where I was the only writer who turned up! I hate it when "they" outnumber me. Usually the producer rep is either an Export Director or the Winemaker. Some of the larger producers have Export Directors who live in California or New York City, and they come up to Toronto. It is extremely rare for a producer to come with two or more wine people, since most matters can be handled by the local agent. My strategy has always been to directly engage the visitor by asking relevant but off-topic questions. The Export Director is always talking about marketing facts and figures; I always ask about percentages of grape varieties, winemaking techniques, the latest vintage conditions. Sometimes they know this stuff. The Winemaker is always talking about viniculture and viticulture, the expression of the grapes/wine through his vision, and the like; I always ask about export figures, where Ontario stands in the world markets, pricing policy, bottle shapes. Keeps 'em all on their toes, especially the local agent. The "lunch" is cheese, bread, grapes. It is sustaining. I remember being at one wine tasting at 6 PM in the Four Seasons. The agent provided nothing: no food, no bread, not even water. I had to take a wine glass to the hotel john to get tap water. This afternoon I visit a few restaurants to set up wine lists and talk about the Bring Your Own Wine program. Ptomaine theatre is also on the list. I swing on a few vines through the jungle. WEDNESDAY - I'm meeting with a trade commission person responsible for wine: he is going to outline a trip for me. But I don't want to go (too far, too long). He tries to convince me of the deep background, the familiarization tour (famtour). I agree, but it is not my style. Instead, I try to persuade him to let me sample some of his country's wines. Could he not send me several cases of wine for assessment and meals? He pulls out a spreadsheet which he says clearly shows that it is actually CHEAPER (for the trade commission) to send me via air (top filling), put me up in a hotel (top fill), ferry me about in a bus (cost spread over participants), with the winetastings and meals paid by the wineries involved. Sending me wine can be very expensive. It looks convincing, but it is still unbelievable. And speaking of sending me wine, the usual dribble of General List wine bottles arrive on my doorstep, and I store it for a neighbourhood tasting and party (see Saturday) at the usual jungle location. THURSDAY - There is a really terrific wine trade show this afternoon, overflowing with delicious wines and comestibles that meet my seafood diet. One problem: the catalogue is dreadful. There are no page numbers, there is no order to the producers, there is no listing of table numbers, there are no agents listed, half of the wines are not here, and of the wines that are here some are not in the catalogue. The direct opposite of the ICE catalogues. One agent tells me that he is four pages from the centre, to the left side. Okay, I can do that. After awhile, I throw away the catalogue and just use a blank book for tasting notes. Trade shows are not the best places to taste wines professionally: they are actually the worse. They are crowded, there are food smells, the producers are too busy talking to one person to pour wine to a second person, nobody seems to know much about prices or availability, there is a definite pecking order both for the A- and B- team wine writers and for certain wineries, there are a lot of "unknowledgeable people" floating about, many gatecrashers, many body odours and perfume scents, people hang around tables after they get a sample when they should be moving away, etc. A jungle, and not my favourite activity. Wines can range from 50 samples up through 600, with about three hours to sample all of them. Of course, I don't/can't try them all. So I sift through the program as far ahead as possible. At one show, the interesting catalogue went awry. The wines on the table were in the same order as listed in the catalogue. This was okay, if you tasted everything and shuffled along at the same speed with the guy ahead and the guy behind. It also helped if nobody talked to the producer, thus making the line move along. But nobody wanted to try everything, and spittoons were far and few between. I've now rented myself out as a wine trade show consultant for the jungle life. FRIDAY - Fridays are one of my favourite days: we get to go to the LCBO tasting lab and sample many wines and spirits, usually about 100 at a time. For two Fridays, we do the Vintages release. A third Friday is devoted to General List and to Classics (usually about 50 wines in total). The fourth Friday is also at the LCBO, but at Scrivener Square, for the monthly Wine Writers Circle of Canada business meeting, which is followed by a tasting of some 50 submitted wines of all stripes and colours. Today, though, we needed to suit up for our annual fitting. Each year at this time the LCBO supplies us with running shoes, in order to taste all of the wines put out that week. We'll be measured for foot length and width, and then our new shoes will be given to us next week. It is really amazing how quickly these shoes wear out (they're made in China, just like all the other shoes are). We really need to be light on our toes and swift of eyeballs, for the LCBO catalogue is full of errors. It used to be that we had a proofed copy; now, we get a photocopy of the final version. So there is no opportunity for corrections to be made to the magazine as sent out to customers. Some errors are egregious, other errors are ones of judgment. Tasting panel notes can be a year old. The wrong vintage is shipped. Spelling errors and omissions happen. Unlike trade shows, the lab is a quiet place, with about a dozen wine writers, a place to write notes, and a sort of casualness. Unfortunately, it is incumbent on us to actually taste EVERY wine for our readers, to have that one voice. So this means that I absorb alcohol through my gums and cheeks. I don't have a car, and I certainly take the TTC down and back from the lab. Again, it is a jungle that we are constantly being vigilant about. SATURDAY - This afternoon I am to host my monthly street party: I gather up all the General List products and other assorted wines, select a few for a private tasting, and then put out the rest for my neighbours' opinions. They drift in whenever, casual, and sip on a few wines. They may - or may not - make notes. I make notes, I gather comments. By the end, I've got enough data, and I've managed to send off a few half-empty bottles with those who wanted them. And then it is off to the "Sideways" champion garbage bowl contest. Oh. I think I already did that LAST week. Back to the jungle of "Mondovino". Dean Tudor, a proud member of the B-Team since 1968.